Name: Mary-Ann A.
Sobriety date: 1/18/15
From: Cape Town, South Africa
Today one year ago on this day I was raped and beaten and was nearly killed, but by the Grace of God I survived! Heb 15:3 (The Lord will never leave me or forsake me). From the January 18, 2016 I was healed from all addictions a year ago.
This is my story: I came from a dysfunctional and loveless family. We were all sexually, physically and mentally abused and that was my childhood. I was also molested and later raped by my stepfather. I always felt used and not good enough for everything and also had rejection issues. I always felt like a victim.
In my marriage as I was young I also chose a husband who was mentally and physical abusive and had my two beautiful children in the marriage but like my past I never felt good enough for the marriage.
I started with my addiction to alcohol 11 years ago when my brother died at 23 of a heroin overdose. I was also in the hospitality industry so social life was hectic and my ex husband and I were divorced. He was working in America at the time and I had to raise my 2 kids by myself. In the 11 years I went to rehab for a month but the longest I was clean after that was 2 months. I started again and it went worse and worse until I lost everything.
My ex husband married again and the kids went to him and I just didn’t keep jobs anymore. My life went from bad to worse and I started staying with friends or family I called myself a gypsy because I never stayed long anywhere.
My turning point was January 17, 2015, when I fought with the people I lived with and I went to a pub. I remember drinking with 2 guys and after that was a blank. When I woke up I was in a bush and I had this black guy raping and beating me and nearly strangled me to death. But by the grace of God when he strangled me, ” looked up and prayed and said, “God please don’t let me die like this.” God spoke to me and said I will never leave or forsake you.
My son booked me into a 6 months rehabilitation center and ever since I am clean. I can only say that by the strength of the Lord and being close to Him and staying away from places and people that drink and making new friends that don’t drink does help. Also to make new plans with my life. I applied to go work on the ships in America and just start a new life for myself.
All I can say is there are a lot of stuff that get thrown at you and you must be strong enough to handle it and not get into victim mode because then you lose. The past year wasn’t easy and I cried a lot of tears. Just take it day by day and ask the Lord for guidance everyday, keep yourself busy and get new hobbies. Keep your mind occupied with different things, like read or join the gym or arts and craft or study or help people in your situation cause the Lord uses us that are broken to help others!
I know somehow somewhere doors will open for me and people can learn from my story to never give up follow your dreams and keep your faith in the Lord he is our savior. I know only from here I can work towards a positive future and work hard to build one and God carrying me though this even in tough times because God is testing our faith daily. I want to thank everyone that is part of my life and everyone reading this that this is a learning curve that we can stand up and help each other in Christ and that you can be healed and have a positive outcome in life and move forward. It is all the choices that we make and choose and that also forgiveness is a very big part of your life. If you can’t forgive yourself how can you forgive others and how can the Lord forgive you? Phil 4:6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanks giving, let your requests be made and known to God.”
God bless you all.